Not So New Movies: Rebooting The 80s

Yes, we’re talking about… the maligned ‘80’s!

Rebooting the 80s:
Rebooting the 80s: “Robocop” (1987), “Wargames” (1983), “The Neverending Story” (1984),

As proof, lingering in your local theaters now is “Robocop” (from the 1987 original) and “About Last Night,” a repeat of the 1986 film.  Of course, these “remade films” should stand on their own merit(s); given that most movie goers under 40 have never seen (or screamed at) the originals when they first played in theaters.  After all, these ‘80’s epics were made in B.C. time: Before Cellphones.

Now, hold on to your “Devo” helmets, because here comes a spate of “new” ‘80’s films.  These include:

“Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” – Made in 1989; rumored to be remade again—starring Justin Bieber?!  Hopefully, the producers will be wise to film this in Canada—for tax reasons and because Mr. Bieber may be deported back to his native country.

Remaking a Decade: "War Games" (1983), "About Last Night" (1986), and "Robocop" (1987)
Remaking a Decade: “War Games” (1983), “About Last Night” (1986), and “Robocop” (1987)

“Wargames” – Made in 1983, is being rebooted by Horrible Bosses/The King of Kong director Seth Gordon for MGM.  No word if Edward Snowden is a technical advisor on this epic.

“Poltergeist”….is baaaaaaaaaaaaack!  What’s weirder is that Pulitzer-prize winning dramatist David Lindsay-Abaire (“Rabbit Hole”) will write the new script!  No word if the screenplay has a subplot where a Pulitzer-prize winning dramatist’s soul is bought and sold by evil spirits—called “Hollywood money-men.”

“Drop Dead Fred” – All right.  It was made in 1991 and only made $13 million.  But, hey, it’s Hollywood; where someone had the idea that this reboot will reboot the career of this new version’s star, Russell Brand.  On hearing word that “Drop Dead Fred” would star her ex, Katy Perry is rumored to produce a film called, “I Can’t Stand Brand.”

Drop Dead Fred, again with Russel Brand
Drop Dead Fred, again with Russel Brand

“The Never Ending Story” — Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company, Appian Way, is rumored to want to show the original film makers how to do this one right—which no doubt means adding another hour of embarrassing looking computerized special effects to “enhance the story.”

Other ‘80’s films that will (re)lens: include “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids,” “Videodrome,” and everyone’s secret fave, “Porky’s.”  Let’s hope that Kim Cattrall will reprise her role as Miss Lynn “Lassie” Honeywell—but she probably won’t because, well, she’s looking rather “Porky.”

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