–but it is a soon-to-be-released thriller film by David Cronenberg. The flick stars Robert “Twilight” Pattinson as a billionaire on a trek across Manhattan in a limo as he goes to get a haircut. (No word yet if ex-presidential hopeful John Edwards’ ex-barber is listed as a “Technical Advisor.”). Needless to say, the billionaire’s business empire comes tumbling down faster than Lindsay Lohan on an alcohol fueled Saturday night.
Preliminary reviews have been mixed; with Todd McCarthy of The Hollywood Reporter calling it: “Lifeless and stagey.”
James Rocchi of MSN.com claims it is “A chilly, crisp and crystal-shard sharp satire of our money-crazed world.” (Did these dudes watch the same movie?)
Justin Chong of “Variety” gave a weird review “An eerily precise match of filmmaker and material.” Then again, Mr. Chong’s “eerily precise match of filmmaker and material” review could apply to any Adam Sandler vehicle; vehicles that are often deemed unfit for driving—unless you’re Adam Sandler.
The reason for the mixed reviews? Because of these four words that are another way to spell box office poison: Mostly filmed in one location. Unfortunately, when a movie-goer sees those four words, they also see these four words: The Sundance Channel’s Schedule.
In other words, a “one location film” is usually a talky indie film that’s mostly appreciated (and seen) by indie filmmakers–or the French. Indeed, in a prescient move, Cronenberg received the “Légion d’honneur” from France’s government; the highest honor in art…given to Cronenberg? Then again, France loves to piss off America (and in this case, Canada), by telling it/us: “You are still a weird, puritanical and porn loving country. Only us French are smart enough to see pure geeeeen-ius. You are much too ignorant to see it—or see any Jerry Lewis movies either!”
Yes, no matter how much any film maker makes edits in long dialogue in an one location setting, Americans can only appreciate sentences as short as their attention span…or as long as it takes to say, “I’ll have fries with my Big Mac.”
Besides, hearing someone talk in one location is similar to hearing a teacher talk in one location for two hours—as in a college class. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, only 27.2 percent of Americans have actually obtained a college degree. And, if most American adults can’t sit and concentrate in a (one location) classroom, it’s highly doubtful that they’ll sit in a movie theater and watch a one location movie–especially when the price of going to a movie theater is now higher than a college tuition.
But, filming in one location allows an actor to flex his acting muscles. Robert Pattinson did more than flex; he also admitted at a Cannes press conference what the world (except Sean Penn) knows: “Actors are not supposed to be intelligent.”
If only the French gave Légion d’honneur’s for making bold statements like the above and not for making bad movies….Sacré bleu!
CLICK HERE for the Hollywood Reporter article.
CLICK HERE for MSN.com review.