Time To Get Zac Efron Back

By Tuesday, May 29, 2012 Permalink 0
Zac Efron at the photo call for "The Paperboy" at Cannes (photo: Splash)

Zac Efron at the photo call for "The Paperboy" at Cannes (photo: Splash)

–back to reality (and making watchable films) that is!

In a case of the old axiom “God giveth and God taketh away,” God (or Zac Efron’s parents) gave him good old fashioned good looks, sex appeal, and the talent to be a leading man. Unfortunately, God (or Mr. Efron’s “advisors”) must’ve taketh away Mr. Efron’s common sense—which might be why he chose to star in a dreck like “The Lucky One.”  Then, to further point himself on the road to “STDVD” (Straight to DVD), he chose to be in Lee Daniels’ “The Paperboy;” which, according to reports from Cannes, has the potential to go down as one of the most embarrassingly bad American movies of all time (which is saying a lot!)

This movie not only questions Mr. Efron’s decision making process, but also questions Lee Daniels’ filmmaking ability.

Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron. 'The Paperboy' screening at the 65th Cannes Film Festival - photo: Splash

Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron. 'The Paperboy' screening at the 65th Cannes Film Festival - photo: Splash

Who else would film Nicole Kidman urinating on a jellyfish-stung Zac Efron?  This is after she shoves girls out of the way and exclaims, “If anyone’s gonna pee on him, it’s gonna be me!”

This is entertainment news we need to hear about?!

How the mighty “A list” actresses have fallen.

Nicole Kidman went from making “Eyes Wide Shut” to making “Eyes Totally Shut” –in an attempt to force every drop of pee out of her.

What’s next for Zac?  In “The Paper Boy, The Sequel,” will Lee Daniels have Jack Black dress as Divine in “Pink Flamingos” garb, push Nicole Kidman out of the way and say, “Your pee’s not gonna work but my poop will!  If anyone’s gonna crap on him, it’s gonna be me!”

Or, will Mr. Daniels choose to give his corpulent “Precious” star, Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe some needed work and have her save Zac by saying, “Don’t worry, child!  I’ll squeeze alllllllllll that jellyfish pain out of you—by sitting on you.

So do us and the movie viewing public a favor Zac.  Give the next movie script you’re thinking of starring in to a child in fifth grade.  Because you’re making everyone think you’re not as smart as a fifth grader.

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