Levi Can’t Keep It In His Levi’s

Levi Johnston (photo: Splash)
Levi Johnston (photo: Splash)

Levi Johnston, the ungainfully unemployed 18 year old donor of baby batter to Bristol Palin, again has shown he has knocked up more women than female boxer Laila Ali. Yes, this time he has stuck it to Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old teacher (who no doubt doesn’t teach sex education) who, like Levi, is also from America’s new sexual play land–Wasilla, Alaska.

What are these two Alaskans’ definition of sexual abstinence? In the heat of the moment and to prevent an unwanted birth, did Ms. Oglesby moan, “No, Levi! Pull it out!” To which, Levi replied, “Hail, gurl. I done just parked muh car at this Walmart. I sure ain’t pulling it out now!”

Levi Johnston

Here’s a trailer trasher who has a whacky mother in law who can see Russia from her porch but he can’t see a condom for miles. No, let’s give Levi a break. Maybe it’s so frigid in Alaska, that his condom cracked in the cold; causing a seminal coating on Ms. Ogelesby’s sugar walls.

FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY, LEVI! Stop bagging Alaskan beavers and shoot some grizzlies!

After all, this is a guy (along with Kevin Federline) who is one paternity law suit away from claiming bankruptcy and then having to “act” in a porno with the Octomom.

Or, maybe he’s taking Sarah Palin’s “Drill! Baby, drill!” exhortations the wrong way.

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